I never expected motherhood to be a crazy metamorphosis thing. I knew exactly the type of mum I wanted to be and what it would look like and so far its pretty on point. I know for some women it brings a crazy change in personalities or perspective, but for me it really hasn’t. Not one surprise. Well… with the exception of one tiny little detail.
My protective instinct is far stronger than anything I have ever imagined.
My personality by nature is big, dramatic and to the point. It takes a lot to shake me up. I have experienced adrenaline producing fear and mind numbing rage but nothing can prepare you for the immense instincts that kick in when you see or hear your child in danger. These protective instincts kick in automatically. You don’t have to think about, it’s just pure reaction. For anyone who isn’t a parent it’s probably hard to comprehend. So here is a little story to help you;
Just the other day I was finishing up a meeting with a friend and called my little (or not so little really) Abbie over to put her shoes on and pack away the toys that she had being playing with. You know, being a responsible parent and all. Anyways Ive packed up my stuff, and I’m ready to go when I notice that Abbie has not put her shoes on (surprise surprise) and “needs my assistance” as she says. So there I am putting daughters very loved gum boots on when I note that she is rubbing her eye. When she moves her hand away or rather when I pry her hand away, that’s when I notice the discolouration under her eye and the puffy eyelid. Now at this point I am concerned but more curious.
I ask her what she touched (yes I realise I asked a 3-year-old a very broad question) to which she replies nothing (good one Jess). I assure that she isn’t in trouble but that she needs to tell me what she touched because her eye is hurting. After several seconds we discover that cat is the culprit hence having scratched her. The more we are talking and waiting the worse her eye is getting though. My friend has some antihistamine eye drops to which I put in her eye. I leave quickly with a “I’m going to go and get some more from the chemist on the way home.”
By the time we get to the chemist, both her eyes are looking pretty swollen and blotchy. It takes less than a minute to have a pharmacist look at her. At this point I am still hoping that it’s just a flash reaction that I need to flush out with eye drops and wait. My panic level is starting rise and I am getting breathless (but that might have been cause I was carrying said toddler though). The chemist chick takes one look at her (I haven’t looked at Abbie for a few minutes) and says go straight to the hospital because she was worried about her breathing. I rush out of there and go straight to the car calling James on the way. It was in this moment that Abbie tells me she needs her puffer.
Thats when this unexpected and overwhelming protective instinct took over. My only thought was to get her to this hospital. I tried to stick to the speed limit but I mentally prepare a speech just in case the cops pulled me over. It would’ve been an award-winning moment had it occurred. I called my mum on the way – and promptly burst into tears. I was scared. Scared that my daughter was going to stop breathing and lose conciseness. My only goal was to get my daughter to help. The only way my body knew how to handle such intense emotions was to… cry. It was annoying and inconvenient!
Abbie had some strong antihistamines and even though it took just over 24 hours for the swelling to go down completely, she is perfectly fine and back to her normal very cheeky self. We left with a strong “you should avoid cats” warning.
I never expected motherhood to some crazy metamorphosis thing in me but that moment opened my eyes to just how powerful a mothers instincts are. One minute I’m fine and calm the next, heads down, elbows out and I charge! Nothing will stop me till I get help for my child. No wonder people end up doing crazy things for their kids!! Logic and common sense go out the window so to speak. Motherhood hasn’t surprised me but the emotions that come with it most certainly have.
Till next time,